he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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