Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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