I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
