"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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