i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
tell me about the eggs
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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