Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize