Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
