This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize