his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
That accounts for only three of the penises
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
