I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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