He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
