i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
