Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize