Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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