Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize