my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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