Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
