i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
