They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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