My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm sobbing to NWA
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize