What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
