Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
