windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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