Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
