I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
