dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
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