Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
