He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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