I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Are we still banned from the library?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I need water and some morals
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
