Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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