I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
