Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
