I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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