put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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