I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
