Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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