dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
