hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
