I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
