people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
