i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
