omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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