i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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