Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
