at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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