Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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