Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
