have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
