i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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