is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize