I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
