i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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