quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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