I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
