So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
