Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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