You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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