I wish I could punch you in the face.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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