come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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