Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
