if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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