We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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