she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she looked like the before picture.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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