before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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