so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
