and you said cock pushups were impossible
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
