Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
