She's JV to your varsity
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
