Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
